And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself – well…how did I get here?
“Once in a Lifetime” by David Byrne and Brian Eno
Remain in Light, Talking Heads (1980)
There are more pieces to the puzzle than there is frame to contain
To explain how I got here is a story unto itself — several stories actually, depending on which rather unconventional fragment of my life you wish to uncover. Since my purpose is to talk about this journey as it happens and as it is influenced by my last trip down this road, I will try to stay at the 25,000 foot level and stay away from buzzing the farmland with minutiae that would clutter things up.
I hate failing. There I said it.
Before you start posting motivational buzz phrases and fill me with nauseating schmoopiness a la Stuart Smalley, read my lips: Failure sucks. Not everyone can succeed. Not everyone meets their goals. And despite current pop culture psycho-babble, not everyone is a winner. There ARE losers and there ARE failures.
As a perfectionist I hold myself to impossible standards and expectations. I’m aware of this and I choose not to alter this way of thinking because it’s how I have survived lots of things, how I have lived my life every step of the way. I’m too far into this life thing to change that, and honestly, I don’t want to change it. It is what it is.
So back to the failure thing. Continue reading